New Year's Reflections

2006 ended and I can summarize my experiences with teaching very simply. Right now, I am a bad teacher. This conclusion is not an unexpected one. I have little to no training in education, I started the year without much confidence in my own skills or potential, and the school I'm teaching in is an especially challenging one with few resources and very low performing students. It is not surprising that after one crazy semester I feel as if I have not accomplished much. While this self assessed failure is not unexpected, as a new teacher who is ultimately trying to address the achievement gap and simply provide a few classrooms full of kids with a decent education, I must find a way to take this semester worth of experience and make it as productive as possible. What does that actually mean? Well... I don't know how much I believe in New Year's Resolutions, but I do see the opportunity to make a fresh start for yourself as something incredibly valuable. So... This being New Year's day, the beginning of a new semester, a new year, a fresh start, I'm going to put down in writing the most basic plans I have to make this semester better than the last. A few of the simple things I can say I've learned from my "failure" and the ways I plan on addressing it this coming semester.

First, if I am truly committed to this job, I need to seriously fix my work ethic. This past semester I have let myself become overwhelmed by the transition from being a student and someone who was very good at that, to being a new teacher who often had no clue how to do the job. While this is a difficult transition for anyone, I'm not going to get through it by leaving school right after the bell and procrastinating to the point of not planning units or writing tests in advance. That's just not going to cut it. I need to remember that I have the ability to accomplish something as difficult as learning to teach effectively. I can't accomplish that if I convince myself otherwise from the beginning. This simple change of attitude, accompanied by something as simple as forcing myself to stay after school for an hour or two everyday will make a huge difference this coming semester. This is the first thing I'm promising myself and my students this coming year.

Second, I took this job because I have a strong interest in the socio-economic issues surrounding education. That's why I joined Teach for America. I'm pretty sure that my work with this topic in college was one of the few things that set me apart for the hundreds of other college grads that were competing for my spot in the program. This past semester I have not spent enough time thinking about and pursuing that interest. I have not taken the time to analyze my experiences using all of the research I have done in the past. To address this... I am starting this blog. I will write and reflect and analyze more often in a concrete way. It will be for myself, but hopefully contribute to an ongoing conversation about the educational inequities in the country as well. Reflecting in this way will also make me more accountable to what I know I'm doing well or where I need to improve.

These are not resolutions. Resolutions get broken. This is my reflection on what I need to do better. Maybe in one of these into blog entries I'll also list some of the things I'm doing well already. I know that's an important part of this process. For now though, this is it. Make it happen. Happy New Year.